


i walk the line

by killuwa



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, chan is a grim reaper, its not super explicit but like read with caution i guess, jisung finds peace in death, kinda its happy for jisung but like he still dies, no self harm btw he doesnt die that way if anyones worried abt that, not exactly proofread this is kinda word vomit but i think its good so, please dont read if u think u cant handle it this was just me projecting, sorry jisung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:47:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23815603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killuwa/pseuds/killuwa
Summary: Jisung's never been scared of death. He knew it would come one day, why not make it sooner?
Relationships: Bang Chan & Han Jisung | Han
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	i walk the line

The night sky was bright. It was bright and open. Not a cloud in sight and Jisung couldn’t tell if that was comforting or made what he was about to do even more scary. Although, contrary to his belief, he didn’t feel as scared as he thought he would. He didn’t feel scared at all. 

The stars felt like they were judging him. Glistening overhead, hearing everything going on in the world. However, if anything knew what Jisung went through, it was the stars. They had seen everything. Surely they’d understand. Right?

Jisung walked with his eyes closed. He let his feet take him where he needed to be, walking the path for the last time. The breeze was nice. The weather was warm, but the wind that drifted over the water found its way blowing through Jisung’s hair. It was comforting. Almost like the wind was giving him a hug. Giving him a hug he so desperately needed. Too bad it was too late. 

His feet stopped at the edge. Jisung opened his eyes and sighed, wrapping his arms around himself. He took a seat on the soft, green grass. It felt nice, although dewy. He closed his eyes again right as the wind blew once more. It was whispering to him. It was telling him not to do it. He didn’t care. He had the plan in his mind. He was going to do it. He was going to jump.

He just didn’t know when.

What he did know, however, it was going to be that night. He needed it to be. This was his only chance. If he didn’t take this opportunity, there was no telling when he would be able to again. There was no telling if he would survive to. If he died, it was going to be on his own terms. 

Jisung, sighed. He just wanted to let go.

So he did. He scooted himself forward and let himself fall. He let out a laugh. It was all so much for a moment. It was all so much and then it was nothing at all. His body hit the water and his eyes sprung open. His body tried to fight the water, but Jisung didn’t let it. He wanted to sink. So he did.

Jisung’s eyes started to close. It was blurry and cold. He didn’t mind, though. It was welcoming. He didn’t see his life flash before his eyes. He didn’t see any bright, white light. He felt nothing. He saw nothing. It was peaceful. until it wasn't. 

“Hey.” Jisung heard. 

It was a soft voice. It was a comforting one. Or at least it would be comforting if Jisung didn’t know for a fact he just killed himself. 

“Heyyy.” The voice said again, this time dragged out.

“Hey.” Jisung responded, without opening his eyes.

The voice laughed. It was gentle. Jisung finally let his eyes open, them doing it almost against his will. He was staring at the sky. The same stars that were judging him just moments before. (or however long it had been) He was laying on something soft, presumably the sand below. Jisung prayed he hadn’t survived. He would simply try again if he did, the night was still young (maybe), but that would be such a hassle. 

“Don’t worry. You didn’t survive.” The voice said. Jisung had forgotten they were there. It was funny. He didn’t know how this person could hear him, surely he didn’t voice that thought out loud. Even if he had, it’d be ironic for the voice that drew him out of the water to tell him he didn’t survive. 

Jisung figured he should get up now. Slowly, he did. He figured he would feel pain. He figured it would hurt to breathe, the water previously filling up his lungs. He figured his body would ache, him crashing down into the water like it was a cloud. He felt nothing. He felt free.

“Who are you?” He asked when his eyes landed on a pale boy sitting close to him. Jisung was right, he was on the sand. He shook his head, letting the sand fall out of his hair.

“I’m Bang Chan.” The boy, Chan, responded. 

Jisung hoped he was going to elaborate as to why they were sitting on the sand. As to how Jisung was there right now. As to why the boy told him he didn’t survive. 

“I’m Jisung.” He replied. He replied instead of asking the questions swimming around in his head.

“I know.” Chan sighed. “You’re Han Jisung. You’re eighteen years old. You killed yourself tonight. May I ask why?” 

Jisung was confused. How did Chan know his full name? How did Chan know his age? The last statement, however, was pretty obvious. “How come you know my name and age, but not why I died.” 

“I only get to know the basic stuff before I take your soul. I don’t know anything else about you.” Chan hummed. He was sitting criss cross, his arm now leaning on his knee with his face in his hand. Jisung furrowed his eyebrows, still quite confused.

“I just felt like it.” Jisung tried to keep it short and simple, but Chan was looking at him like he expected more. “My life wasn’t going in a good direction and I had no way to stop it. This was my only way out and honestly? I didn’t really mind that.” Jisung let out a small laugh at the end. If he truly was dead, he felt relieved. One could almost say he felt happy. 

Chan smiled at Jisung’s smile. “I’m glad you’re happy now. I don’t see too many of those with this type of job.”

Jisung tilted his head, almost urging Chan to explain like the other had done to him. Chan shrugged, moving his hands to play with the sand. Jisung did the same.

“I’m a grim reaper. I walk the line between life and death. There’s many of us and I’m glad I got assigned to you. Once you’re ready, I’ll take your soul. I normally don’t let people choose when to go, but you’re a special case. The boss might like you.” Chan explained. 

Jisung felt like he should be bewildered. He felt like he shouldn’t believe Chan one bit. Although, he did. “What do you mean I’m a special case?” Jisung asked. He was intrigued. He had always been fascinated by death. Always been fascinated by the thought of the presences that surrounded death. In a way, he kind of hoped something like this would happen. It was nice to see what was truly after death. The overworld glorified it so much as to not scare the public. Jisung could understand that. He never liked to invalidate people's fears, he just didn’t believe in them. He didn’t believe in life after death, or a heaven or hell. He believed once you were gone, you were gone.

“You’re not scared. You haven’t been this entire time. Why is that?” Chan asked. 

For a grim reaper he sure did ask a lot of questions. 

“Death has interested me forever. I always wondered what was after death. It’s nice to finally know. A peaceful feeling, if you will.” 

Chan laughed once more. Jisung liked the sound of it. 

“I’m ready to go now if you don’t mind. You can take my soul and move onto your next death. I’m content.” Jisung said, smiling once more at the pale boy. He didn’t look much like a grim reaper, but Jisung wasn’t one to judge people by how they looked. 

“Yes sir. Any last wishes before you go?” Chan asked. 

Jisung tsked. Another question. 

“I want everyone to feel this peaceful when they die.” Jisung said, closing his eyes. 

“Your wish is my command. Sleep well, Jisung.” 

Jisung’s world went silent. It went silent and he was gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos n comments are appreciated bc i love validation! sorry this was kinda wacky. follow me on twt if u please :) [@chae1z](https://twitter.com/chae1z) (i hope that link works i havent embedded a link in 4ever)


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